*TURN OFF YOUR LIGHTS*

(And give yourself a severe case of eyestrain)

(The future isn't what it used to be....)

"CARD CAPTOR SCIENCE THEATER 3000" (SEASON TWO FINALE)

EPISODE 20: SYAORAN: ROMEO… NOT REALLY

(A Card Captor Sakura MSTing)

MSTed From the Desk of Card Captor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

This is a MSTing of a work of fiction created by another author.

Use of copyrighted and trademarked material is for entertainment

purposes only; no infringement on the original copyrights or

trademarks held by Best Brains, Inc. is intended or should be inferred.

“Card Captor Sakura” is a trademark of CLAMP and those who distribute it.

“Syaoran: Romeo… Not Really” is the property of Golden Eyed Dragon and she’s welcome to it. I do not intend to offend her by making fun of her work like this but I figure it's only a matter of time before someone does. Think of this as another form of C&C. ;)

WARNING! This MSTing contains artificial lime flavoring and profanity that may not agree with your digestive system!

 
 
(Cue "Card Captor Science Theater 3000 Love Theme" in 5....4....3....)
 
It's the not-too-distant future,
Last Sunday BC
There was this girl named Sakura
Quite different from you or me
She captured Clow Cards with her friends
All seen through Tomoyo’s camera lens
They tried to save the human race,
But Eriol lost his patience
So he shot them into space!!!!
  
Sakura: (Hoeeee……)
 
Syaoran and Tomoyo: (Now what?)
 
We'll send them crappy fanfics
The worst we can find (lalala)
They'll have to sit and read them all and we'll monitor their minds (lalala)
 
Now keep in mind they can't control
When the fanfics begin or end (lalala)
Because, let’s face it, after all
Eriol’s not really their friend;
 
CARD CAPTOR ROLL CALL:
 
Meiling:
'Who asked you?!’
 
Tomoyo:
'Plushies!!'
 
Syaoran:
'Where’s my sword?'
 
KEROOOOOOO!!!
'I love pudding!'
 
If you're wondering how they eat and breathe
And other science facts (lalala)
Then repeat to yourself
*It's just a MiST*
You should really just relax
For Card Captor Science Theater 3000!!!

**

THE HOLOCABANA

19:01 Hours 

“Oh no…” grumbled Sakura. “The staircase is moving again!”

The staircase, part of a large number of staircases in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was changing directions underneath their feet. 

“Stupid thing!” Syaoran grumbled. He paused and took a deep breath before adjusting his robes and adjusting his prop round-framed glasses.

“It’s supposed to do that,” Sakura began at once, doing her best to capture Hermione Granger’s know-it-all tone. “Otherwise, the plot would stop dead in its tracks.”

“Cut!” came a cry. Tomoyo Daidouji stormed onto the set. “Sakura-chan! Mind the fourth wall, okay?”

“Why do we have to re-enact the entire movie, Daidouji,” Syaoran grumbled. “This program was made for fun, not to continue aid you in your demented camera fetish.”

“Besides, it isn’t really a complete cast anyway,” Sakura began again. “We don’t have a Ron Weasley.”

“Well, who do you know around here who could play him?” Tomoyo said, crossing her arms. “Yue? Meiling? Magic Voice?”

“Don’t look at me,” came the Nadeshiko-ish but disembodied sound of Magic Voice.

“Can’t we just create one?” inquired Syaoran. “It is a holocabana.”

Just then, the intercom came to life. “Move it or lose it, guys,” said Meiling. “Professor Snape is on the line again.”

“Oh, joy,” Syaoran grumbled. “Now my day is complete.”

**

DEEP 13

“You know, you’ve been pretty cruel to Kinomoto-san lately,” said TV’s Ruby Moon, the somewhat loyal assistant of the evil Dr. Eriol Hiiragazawa. “I mean, all of ‘Temples, Captors And Knights’, ‘No Need for CardCaptors’… And the fic you’re planning to send them today. Yikes!”

“Yeah,” said TV’s Spinel Sun, Dr. Eriol’s other semi-loyal assistant.

“Look,” said Eriol. “I let them off easy with ‘Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla’! And furthermore…”

“Um… Do we need to be here for this?” came the voice of Kero.

Eriol turned to face the viewscreen. “Oh, be…!!” He cut short when he noticed that Sakura and Syaoran were dressed in Hogwarts school uniforms. He also noticed Syaoran’s round glasses.

“Et tu, Sakura?” Eriol began. His eye was starting to twitch. “Are you all turning against me?”

“We did that a long time ago,” Kero muttered.

Eriol’s fist began to close around the Clow card he had created for the exxhange. It exploded with a loud bang, causing Ruby Moon and Spinel Sun to dive for cover.

“I guess this means they go first?” said Spinel Sun.

**

THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

Sakura blinked. “Oh, right!” she said. “Well, Syaoran-kun created our card this week.”

“My Clow card this week is for all fanfiction fans who hate reading contrived stories about non-existant couples,” Syaoran began. “You know the type, they rewrite an entire series to fit the couple they want.”

“Kind of like Yukito and Tomoyo or something,” Meiling chimed in.

“And several of these authors won’t tell you what the pairing is before you start reading in hopes of luring you in,” Syaoran continued. “That’s why I created ‘The Canon’ card!” Syaoran held up the Clow card triumphantly as Yukito brought in a stack of papers. “If the card finds a non-canon pairing…”

Syaoran activated the card. It dissipated into green mist, which engulfed the pages. After a second the mist left the fanfic and reformed into a tiny cannon, which fired a blast that incinerated the fanfic. “Not only is it handy, but it’s a clever play on words too.” Syaoran beamed.

“Which fanfic was that anyway?” Kero asked.

“I’m not telling.” Syaoran replied

Sakura looked a little concerned as she watched the ashes of the fanfic float by. “What do you think, sirs?”

**

DEEP 13

“Very cute,” said Eriol. “But I’m going to have to ask you to hand over that card. I don’t want you weaseling out of any experiments. Not that it will help you with this week’s work of art. It’s called ‘Syaoran: Romeo… Not Really’, a long slog through the boring, the inane and the stupid by Golden Eyed Dragon.” Eriol let out an evil cackle. “Taste my steel, Kinomoto. Send them the fanfic, Ruby Moon.”

“That depends,” Ruby Moon replied. “Are you still sane?”

“Just get the damned fanfic!” Eriol growled.

**

THE SATELLITE OF LOVE

“Did you hear that title?” groaned Kero. “The fic hasn’t even started yet, and I already know it’s going to be awkward and painful.”

“In other words,” said Tomoyo. “The same as every other experiment.” 

Suddenly alarms and sirens rang out.

“OHHHH, WE'VE GOT FANFIC SIGN!!!” Sakura cried out.

(Door 6: It melts away to nothing.)

(Door 5: It swirls open from the center.)

(Door 4: It falls toward you, missing your foot by inches.)

(Door 3: It splits into six long strips that retract into the doorframe.)

(Door 2: It’s made of small wooden blocks. The CCS plushies come in and haul them away, one at a time.)

(Door 1: It’s a set of theater curtains. They are pulled back and you move on.)

(Door .7: The camera pans downward where a small hatch pops open.)

Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Kero-Chan enter the theater. The three take their seats in the theater while Kero-Chan floats overhead.

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Syaoran:Okay,this is my story.Ahem!

Syaoran: My name is Syaoran. And I’m a Sakuraholic.

Tomoyo and Kero: Hi, Syaoran!

Sakura: I don’t think that’s such a bad addiction.

<Syaoran blushes>

>*straightens throat*

Kero: That’s quite a trick.

>Okay,me and my friend Yamazaki are pretty good friends.

Syaoran: We talk, he lies. I don’t strangle him as often as Chiharu-chan.

>Okay,me and Yamazaki

Tomoyo: Someone smack the fanfic! It’s skipping!

>Go out and check out girls once a week or so.

Sakura: HEY!

>And now this is where my story starts out...

All:<monotone>Yay.

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Syaoran and Yamazaki are walking around.

Sakura: This is riveting.

>Yamazaki stopped and looked at Mrs.Petterson.She was a fat lady and she went over
>to her child yelling at him.

Tomoyo:<Mrs. Petterson>Damn Norm! He’s probably still at that stupid bar!

>Yamazaki: What about Mrs.Petterson?

Sakura: What about her?

>Syaoran looked over and put one hand on Yamazaki's shoulder.

Syaoran: Takashi… You’re an idiot.

>Syaoran: Mrs.Petterson.Her tits are like on tanks,I guess that is what happens after you get >fat,they hang,and you can't help it.

<All stare blankly>

Kero: What the hell…?

>Syaoran and Yamazaki kept walking,Syaoran stopped and so did Yamazaki and looked over at >Miss.Terri who was an old lady.

Sakura: …who lived in a shoe.

>She was sitting on her roof talking on the phone.

Kero: Great. Now we’re in an AT&T ad.

>Syaoran:
>Now,Miss.Terri,Mashed Potatoe breats.

All:<groans>

Sakura: Well, it’s been twenty seconds and the fic has already completely shattered the characterization for two cast members.

Tomoyo: I think that’s a new record.

Syaoran: Nelvana would be proud.

>Yamazaki giggled.

Sakura: I don’t know about you, but I’ve never heard Yamazaki-kun giggle.

Tomoyo: Maybe it’s the tea again.

 
>Syaoran:

>And you see,she is COMPLETELY crazy.

Kero: Not unlike the author.

>She,sits there talking on her roof,eats out in her car,and chops her grass at night.
>And she waters her flowers in a diving mask.

Syaoran: Also, she watches ‘Three’s Company’ re-runs, which clinches her insanity.

>Yamazaki looked at Syaoran confused.

Kero:<Yamazaki> Uhhh… Yamazaki’s not here, man.

>Yamazaki:
>No way.

Tomoyo:<Madison Taylor> Yes way!

>Syaoran:
>Yeah,I see her all the time.

Kero:<Yamazaki> In your dreams?

Syaoran: No. My nightmares.

Tomoyo: Ba-da-BING!

>Yamazaki:
>Oh....

Tomoyo: Say ‘My Goddess’, Li-kun, and I swear I’ll smack you silly.

>Syaoran and Yamazaki kept walking,

All:<singing> They’re walking! Yes, indeed! They’re walking!

>until they got to Miss.Jacksons house,she was working out inside.

Sakura: Janet Jackson moved to Tomoeda?

Syaoran: Wouldn’t you if Michael Jackson was your brother?

 
>Yamazaki:

>What about,Miss.Jacksons.

Kero:<Alex Trebek> You must answer in the form of a question, dimwit.

>They both stopped and Syaoran looked in.

Kero:<Syaoran>Hey! She’s naked!

Sakura and Syaoran: KERO!

>Syaoran:
>Uhhh...she has lemon breasts.You see people would go to the store and they think they are rotten >and bad.But probably they are ripe and good.

Kero: Yeah, baby! And speaking of lemons…

<Sakura swats him>

>Yamazaki nodded,as they went to a house,and saw a girl who was a little bit older then Syaoran >and Yamazaki.

Tomoyo: Well, that narrows it down.

>Syaoran:
>Oookay,Mandy.Mandy is beautiful!Full of life,she is a girl who thinks life is a party type of >girl.She is young and has a good body!

Kero:<Syaoran>I know ‘cause I called her for a good time!

<Sakura and Syaoran swat him>

>Yamazaki looked worried and then got up.

Sakura: When did he get down?

Syaoran: Search me.

>Yamazaki:
>Umm,listen,Syaoran.I got to uhhh-I need to go.I need to do something at home!

Tomoyo: Very convincing.

Sakura: Oh, come on! Yamazaki can make up an excuse better than anyone.

Syaoran: We all have our off days.

>Yamazaki got up and ran off to his house,Syaoran watched him run off with a smirk on his face.

Kero: Now, hold on. Was Yamazaki smirking or was Syaoran?

Sakura: Does it matter?

Kero: Damn…. This is going to bug me all day now.

>Syaoran got back to his apartment room.Meiling was in there with a mad glare.

Syaoran: No surprises there.

 
>Syaoran:

>Uh-oh,what is wrong with her now?




Kero:<Syaoran>It had better not be that time of the month again.

<Sakura and Tomoyo whack him with mallets>

Syaoran:<Genma Saotome> Now that, he had coming.

>Meiling:

>I see you don't really care if you stay here or not.You never clean after yourself,

Sakura: Isn’t that why they have Wei?

Syaoran:<Wei a la Dr. McCoy>Dammit, Syaoran! I’m a butler, not a housemaid!

>and you just leave your masterbation magazines lying around!

<All stare blankly>

Kero: Syaoran, you had a subscription to ‘Playboy’ and you never told me?

Syaoran: HEY!

Kero: I mean, I know we’re not best friends, but you could at least share.

Syaoran: CUT THAT OUT!

>Syaoran blushed,then smirked.

Tomoyo: Syaoran Li IS Danny Ocean

Sakura:<Julia Roberts as Tess Ocean> You’re a thief and a liar!

Syaoran:<George Clooney as Danny Ocean> I only lied about being a thief.

Sakura:<Julia Roberts as Tess Ocean>You don’t do that anymore?

Syaoran:<George Clooney as Danny Ocean>Steal?

Sakura:<Julia Roberts as Tess Ocean>Lie.

Kero: The Ocean’s 11 sketch, ladies and gentlemen! Thank you!

>Syaoran:
>Well,I don't have any other place to put them.

Tomoyo:<Meiling> I know somewhere you could put them.

>Meiling:
>That is it,Syaoran.You are always running around with that,Yamazaki.Checking out girls and >shit.Well,how about you just LIVE out on the streets!

Sakura: Ah, yes. Meiling as Rosanne Arnold.

Tomoyo: Another character bites the dust.

>Syaoran:
>Heh,I bet it will be easier.

Kero: Easier than what?

Sakura: Living with Meiling, I think.

Syaoran: Wait a sec… That’s my apartment! If anyone’s leaving, it’s her!!

>Meiling:

>Then go!!

Tomoyo:<Meiling> See if I care!

>Meiling pushed Syaoran out the door and slammed the door and locked it.

All:<muted trumpet imitation> Wah-Wah-Waaaaah!

>Syaoran:
>HEY!!

Syaoran: Get me! I’m a victim of coicumstance! Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk!

>Syaoran kept banging on the door.He gave up and walked out on the streets and sighed.Sakura >walked around the corner and they faced eachother.

Tomoyo:Uh… Hello? Spacebar, please?

>Sakura:
>Oh,hey,Syaoran.

Sakura: Okay. I do not talk like that.

>Syaoran blushed.

Kero: It’s an IC moment!

All: HUZZAH!

>Syaoran:
>H-hey.

Tomoyo:<Madison Taylor> Whatever.

>~~~~~~~~~~~~
>Syaoran:
>Aaaah,

Syaoran: Megami-sama?

Tomoyo: My goddess! Syaoran got it right!

Kero: Heh.

>Sakura Kinomoto.How I wish she was mine.She is just so perfect.
>~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kero: Unlike this fanfic.

>Sakura:
>What are you doing?

Sakura: Don’t even think about it, Kero.

Kero: Awwww…

>Syaoran:
>M-me?..uhhh..

Syaoran: Crap… Line?

>~~~~~~~~~~~
>Syaoran:
>I can't actually tell her that Meiling kicked me out of my apartment room..
>~~~~~~~~~~~

Sakura:<John Cleese> And the punchline…

>Syaoran:
>Meiling kicked me out of my apartment room,and is changing the key hole and everything.

All: TA-DA!!!

Tomoyo: Can you say “predictable”?

 
>Sakura:

>Oh,that must suck.

Sakura: Arghhhh!!!!

>Syaoran:
>Yeah,I was thinking of just staying with,Yamazaki until Meiling cools down.

Kero: What’s with the extra comma?

Syaoran: It’s been wandering around lost since “No Need For CardCaptors”.

 
>Sakura:

>Yeah that would be the best thing to do,huh?




Tomoyo: Yeah, huh?
 
Syaoran: Sure, huh?
 
Sakura: This sounds like a bad impression of Bob and Doug McKenzie. 
 
>Syaoran:

>Guess so,I guess life just sucks as much as a whore sucks a dick.




<Long pause>
 
All: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
 
Kero: Who wrote this dialogue? Kevin Smith?
 
Sakura:<Jay> I’m Jay, and this is my heterosexual life partner, Silent Bob.
 
Syaoran:<Silent Bob>…
 
Tomoyo: Please… Stop!
 
Sakura: Speak for yourself, Miss Maggie Blue O’Hara.
 
>Sakura cocked an eyebrow up at Syaoran.




Syaoran: What? Do I have something hanging from my nose?
 
>Sakura:

>Wha??




Kero: Took the words right out of my mouth.
 
>Syaoran blushed.




Tomoyo: Again?
 
Tomoyo: Again?
 
Kero: Déjà vu!
 
Kero: Déjà vu!
 
>Syaoran:

>N-nothing,nevermind.




Syaoran:<Donnie Brasco> Foggedd about it.
 
>Sakura:

>Okay.Well,seeya,Syaoran.




Tomoyo:<singing> I’ll be seeing “ya” in all the old familiar places.
 
>Sakura walked pass Syaoran,Syaoran turned around and watched her walk off.Then he took out his 
>cell phone and called up a phone number.




Kero: As opposed to what? A zip code?
 
>Syaoran:

>Yamazaki.I need help,Meiling kicked me out of my apartment room and-
 
Syaoran: …I can’t seem get any spaces between sentences, periods and commas.
 
>don't laugh.But I need to stay at your place...What!?




Tomoyo: Bet whatever Yamazaki told him is a lie.
 
>What do you mean I can't?I need somewhere to stay!..I don't care if you are reading a book about 
>sexualty!
 
All: Eeeeeeewwwwww…
 
Kero:<Yamazaki> Although… I could use someone to practice on.
 
Sakura: Barf! Kero!!
 
Kero: Heh.
 
>....Fine..ya,seeya bud.




Syaoran: This Bud’s for you!
 
Kero:<George Carlin>Fine?! Nobody is fine! Hair is fine! How’s your hair? FINE! 
 
>Syaoran put his cell phone up.He looked around.




<Pause>
 
Sakura: Aaaaand?
 
>~~~~~~~~~~

>Syaoran:

>Uhh...
 
Syaoran: Line?
 
>I guess there is only one thing to do,stay at Sakura's.But she won't let me in.I really want her 
>to notice me,though.
 
Tomoyo: Maybe you could try using the spacebar.
 
>I guess I will have to be my own little Romeo..




Kero: Oh, good idea. Bring Shakespeare into this. That’ll make it better.
 
Syaoran: It’s “Of Magic And Matchmaking” all over again!
 
Kero:<Eriol> Care to read some lines, Syao-chan?
 
Syaoran:<shudders> Don’t do that!
 
>~~~~~~~~~~

>

>Syaoran walked over to Sakura's house,walked up to the door and knocked.Sakura opened the door.




Kero: Well, this is riveting.
 
>Sakura:

>He-Syaoran!!?What are you doing here??




Kero:<Sakura>Crap… Tomoyo, get your clothes on!
 
<Sakura and Syaoran smack him>
 
Kero: Ite…
 
>Syaoran:

>Yamazaki wouldn't let me come over.Can I stay with you?




Tomoyo: Yeah. That’ll happen.
 
>Sakura:

>N-no,Syaoran.I can't my brother and my dad,wouldn't like that.




Kero: NO?! REALLY?!
 
>Syaoran:

>But...




Syaoran: Line?
 
>Sakura:

>Sorry,bye,Syaoran.




Sakura: Boy, this dialogue is great stuff, isn’t it?
 
>Sakura shut the door.Syaoran got a mad glare on his face and walked down in Sakura's lawn infront 
>of her window 
 
Sakura: As opposed to behind the window.
 
>and stood there looking into her window.




Kero:<Syaoran> Maybe I’ll catch her getting undressed… Hee, hee!
 
Sakura and Syaoran: KERO!
 
>Hours passed,and Syaoran was asleep on her lawn.The sun came up and Syaoran opened his eyes.He 
 
Syaoran: …got really pissed that the author wasn’t putting spaces between her sentences.
 
>looked over across the road to see 
 
Kero:<Syaoran> Hey! How’d that chicken get over there?
 
>an old man talking to a lady outside.Syaoran wanted to hear and went up to the gate to hear what 
>the lady was saying.The old man was Mr.Henry.




Syaoran:<Sidney Poitier>They call me MISTER Henry!
 
>Lady:

>No,no,don't do it.




Kero: But… I must obey my Nikes!
 
>Sakura's window opened.Syaoran ran over and Sakura looked down at him.




Tomoyo: Hey, Sakura. What’s got you looking so down?
 
<Everyone groans>
 
>Sakura:

>Oh,no wonder I couldn't go to sleep.A Syaoran was outside looking into my window.




Sakura: A Syaoran? How many of them are there?
 
Kero: Guess the Li clan has a Dummy Plug system under the house.
 
Tomoyo: Maybe Meiling will pull a Ritsuko tantrum and destroy them all, huh? 
 
>Syaoran:

>Heh,hey,Sakura.What do you know about Mr.Henry?




Syaoran:<Krusty The Clown> Hey, Hey!
 
>Sakura:

>..I don't know.I never really see him.

>

>Syaoran:

>Oh.




Syaoran: …My Goddess?
 
<Syaoran leaps from his seat and sprints away as Tomoyo gets up to give chase.>
 
Syaoran: That was for the “looking down” line, Daidouji! Bwa-ha-ha!
 
>Sakura:

>Well,bye.




Kero: Very articulate.
 
>Sakura closed her window.Yamazaki walked by and saw Syaoran in Sakura's lawn and started 
>laughing.




Sakura: Easily amused, isn’t he?
 
<After a few moments Tomoyo gives up and returns to her seat. A moment later, Syaoran returns to his seat.>
 
>Yamazaki:

>Oh,do my eyes consive me!
 
All: Eeeeewwwww…
 
Kero: It’s deceive, dumb-ass! Something you should know a lot about. 
 
>Syaoran,living in Sakura's back yard!

>

>Yamazaki went over the fence over to Syaoran.




All:<imitate alarms>
 
Tomoyo:<Guard> Another one’s jumped the fence!!
 
>Yamazaki:

>Why are you here,bud?

>

>Syaoran:

>Well,I want Sakura to notice me.I love her.And I want her to like me back.




Tomoyo:<cockney accent> As opposed to me front.


>Yamazaki:

>Oh,well.You got to be romantic my friend so here.
 
Kero: Here what?
 
>Yamazaki gave Syaoran five books.




Syaoran: Harlequin romance novels? The hell? 
 
>Yamazaki:

>They are romantic books,you know that stuff.




Syaoran: It appears they’re also full of crap. 
 
>Syaoran held up a book that said "Rules of Sexualty"




Kero:<giggles>Yamazaki IS Dr. Ruth!
 
Tomoyo: There’s a picture I could do without.
 
>Syaoran:

>Rules of Sexualty??




Kero: …by K.D. Lang.
 
>Yamazaki:

>Yeah.




All:<Madison Taylor>WHATEVER!
 
>Syaoran:

>Oh,Yamazaki,You know,Mr.Henry.




Kero: First initial, ‘O’.
 
Sakura: Cute, Kero.
 
>Yamazaki:

>Yeah,he lives across the road,why?

>

>Syaoran:

>Well,you never see his wife anymore.




Kero: Ewwww… Yamazaki’s been seeing an older married woman?!
 
Sakura: Yamazaki IS Benjamin Braddock in “The Graduate”.
 
Syaoran: I find it hard to picture Dustin Hoffman playing a character who always has his eyes closed.
 
>Yamazaki:

>Yeah,that's because she is in a wheelchair!

>

>Syaoran:

>Yeah,but he never gives her rides around the block or anything.I think he killed his own wife!




Kero: Great. Now we’re watching “Rear Window”.
 
Syaoran: Where’s Hitchcock when you need him?
 
>Yamazaki:

>Uh-huh.




All:<singing> That’s the way! Uh-huh, uh-huh! 
 
>Syaoran:

>Really!




Syaoran: Seriously!
 
Kero: No kidding!
 
Syaoran: I mean it!
 
Kero: It’s true!
 
>Syaoran and Yamazaki looked over at Mr.Henry's house.




All:<imitate ominous music>
 
>Syaoran:

>Just think,wierd noises like tools at night.I think he chopping her body up!




Sakura: Sort of like how the English language has been chopped up in this fic.
 
Tomoyo: Eeewwww. That would be a big mess.
 
>Just then Mr.Henry walked out with two garbage bags,and put them in the back of his car.
>
>Yamazaki:
>And yeah,that is his wife's body.




Kero: Oh, brother…
 
Tomoyo: Aren’t they a tad old for this kind of thing?
 
Sakura: I think this author’s been watching too many bad slasher movies.
 
Syaoran: You mean there are good ones?
 
>Syaoran:
>No,just one body can fit in one bag.




Kero:<Syaoran> Vincent Vega told me all about it.




>Yamazaki:
>Well...maybe it is all of his family.I even thought of that once.




Sakura: You would.




>Syaoran and Yamazaki sat down on the sidewalk right by Sakura's house.Then there must a hax 
>saw noise chopping down from Mr.Henry's house.




Sakura: Hax saw?
 
Syaoran:<Golden Eyed Dragon> I’m hukt on fonix.




>Syaoran:
>That's a hax saw!He must be chopping his wife!




Sakura: Yeah. After all, what other uses are there for hack saws?
 
>Yamazaki:
>Yeah!Oooor,he might use a chainsaw!!!RrrrrrEeeeerr!!!




Kero: Yes, it’s “The Tomoeada Chainsaw Massacare”!
 
Syaoran:<Joe Bob Briggs> Cool!
 
>Syaoran:
>Yeah,but,just this morning he was talking to a lady which kept telling him not to do it.




All: Huh?
 
Sakura: Okay. I’m lost.
 
>Yamazaki:
>She must know about him though.She probably told him not to kill his wife and family.




Kero: Oh, brother…
 
>Syaoran:
>Yeah.




Syaoran: Very convincing.
 
>Yamazaki:
>What about that crazy Miss.Terri?




All: CRAAAAAAAZZZZYYY!!!
 
>Syaoran:
>I don't know about her yet.But I think we got something going on with Mr.Henry!




Sakura: What is this? A Hardy Boys novel?
 
>Yamazaki:
>Oh,yeah.I am reading this book.Called,"How to pleasure a women!" And I am trying to succeed!




Syaoran:<Yamazaki> So far, no luck.
 
Kero:<Yamazaki> Chiharu’s been getting pissed with me lately. You’d think three minutes wasn’t enough for her.
 
>Syaoran:
>Well,good luck.




Syaoran: You demented perv…
 
>Yamazaki:
>Yeah,thanks man.




Kero:<Yamazaki> Yeah, man! I am like, so OOC!
 
>Yamazaki got up and ran off.
 
Tomoyo: I envy him. We’re still stuck here.
 
>~~~~~~~~~~~
>Syaoran:
>Later that night,something happened I thought wouldn't.Sakura opened her window and actually
 >talked to me.
>~~~~~~~~~~~




Tomoyo: Someone’s starstuck.
 
Kero: I think he has her confused with Britney Spears.
 
Sakura: Well, I’m not singing “I’m A Slave 4 U”.
 
Syaoran: Awwww…
 
>Sakura:
>Okay,would you rather...lose your eyesight,or...lose both control of your legs?




Kero: The hell…?
 
Sakura: I think this author’s lost control of her mind.
 
>Syaoran looked at the ground thinking then looked at Sakura.




Tomoyo: Boy, this fic is really deep, huh?
 
>Syaoran:
>That's hard,but I'd have to say eyesight.Because your face is inched into my memory,so I will 
>always know what you look like,and I can still move my legs and that means I could always make 
>love to you.
 
Kero: Smooth.
 
Tomoyo: Like Number 5 sandpaper.
 
Syaoran: Inched?
 
Sakura: Give this author an inch and she’ll take a mile.
 
>Sakura blushed and put her hands on the window.




Kero: Yes! Another IC moment!
 
Tomoyo: Considering how dirty minded everyone is in this fic, why do they still blush?


>Sakura:

>Well,goodnight...Syaoran.




Sakura: Whew! Remembered his name just in time!
 
>Syaoran:

>'Night.




Kero: …Of The Living Dead’ was less sickening than this.
 
>Sakura shut the window.And Syaoran took out a towl from his book bag sat down and started 
>reading some book that Yamazaki gave him.




Sakura: A what? Towl?
 
Kero: The latest in owl technology!
 
Syaoran:<Harry Potter> Hey! Give Hedwig back!
 
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Syaoran:

>Okay,that was pretty bad impression,but hey she did blush didn't she?

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Sakura: Yeah. Syaoran was never good at impressions. His John Wayne sounds like Jackie Chan.
 
>In the morning Syaoran and Yamazaki had towels laying on Sakura's drive way,they were laying 
>down listening to music.




Tomoyo: Hey! We’re at Woodstock!
 
Sakura: Groovy, baby!
 
>Yamazaki:

>So how are you and,Sakura?




Syaoran: Better than you are with commas.
 
>Syaoran:

>Well,we talk more.




Tomoyo: I wish they talked less. Maybe the fic would be OVER by now!!
 
>Yamazaki:

>Aaaah.You two are in the friend zone right now.




Syaoran:<Yamazaki> Pardon my screaming. I just sat on a garden gnome.
 
Kero:<hums the “Twilight Zone” theme.>
 
>Syaoran:

>But,I'm not.




Sakura: Not what?
 
>Yamazaki:

>Yeah.But she just wants to see you as a friend instead of a pistol mate.




<All stare blankly.>
 
Kero: I have no idea how to respond to that.
 
Sakura: Join the club.
 
>Syaoran:

>Oh.Well,then I guess I have to try harder to become her 'pistol mate' as you say.




Kero: If that doesn’t work, try being her “Coffee Mate” or “Paper-mate” or…
 
Sakura: Okay… Enough product placement.
 
>Yamazaki:

>Uhhh...yeah.sure.




Tomoyo:<Madison Taylor> Whatever.
 
>~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Syaoran:

>Yeah,but...how??What would make Sakura like me??

>~~~~~~~~~~~~




Syaoran: Lord knows this fic has erased any traces of charm and personality I had.
 
>Yamazaki:

>So where are here parents and brother??




Sakura: Wha…?
 
Kero:<Director>Cut! What the hell was that?!


>Syaoran:

>Her dad went on vacation for two days.Her brother is on a vacation.




Tomoyo: So… They’re on vacation?
 
>Yamazaki:

>Oh.I guess that is good.




Sakura: Good for who? They left me behind.
 
Tomoyo: So? Now you’ll be free to spend your time having wild nooky with Syaoran-kun.
 
Sakura: Hoeeeeee!!!




<Syaoran falls over>
 
>Syaoran:

>Yeah.I am going for a walk to my apartment.




Kero:<Syaoran>I moved in with two babes named Janet and Chrissie. The only catch is, the landlord thinks I’m gay.
 
Syaoran: That and we spend a lot of our time falling over the couch.
 
>Yamazaki:

>Okay,I'll go too.

>
>They walked off.They got to Syaoran's apartment,there was Meiling behind tables with stuff on 
>them.Syaoran's jaws dropped




Syaoran: Aw, crap! I dropped my Richard Kiel!
 
>he went over to Meiling.

>

>Syaoran:

>MEILING!What are you doing??




Tomoyo:<Meiling> I’m standing behind a table. What does it look like?
 
>Meiling:

>I am having a yard sale.




Sakura:<Meiling>Yards, feet and inches! Get ‘em now!
 
Tomoyo:<Meiling>Yes, get your very own yard! Complete with grass and weeds!
 
Kero: Oh, brother…


>Syaoran:

>But this is all my stuff!!




Sakura:<Meiling> Well, I wasn’t going to sell my stuff.
 
>Meiling:

>Exactly.

>

>Yamazaki walked up with an electric tooth brush of Syaoran's.

>

>Yamazaki:

>Hey,who much for the electric tooth brush?




Syaoran:<Yamazaki with Scottish brogue>Who mooch foor doot thang?
 
>Meiling:

>Hmmm..a special price for you,Yamazaki.One dollar.




 
Kero: Meiling’s Bargain Basement! Come In Today!
 
>Yamazaki:

>Okay.

>

>Yamazaki gave Meiling a dollar.Syaoran walked up to Yamazaki.




Tomoyo: Gotta love that intricate detail, huh?
 
>Syaoran:

>Yamazaki!That's my electric tooth brush!

>

>Yamazaki:

>Yeah,but I use these at my uncles.You know if you put it just right,if feels just like a 
>vibrater!!!!




All: Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwww!
 
Kero: Uh… What would a guy need with a vibrator?
 
<Long pause>
 
All: EEEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!
 
Sakura: I… think… I’m gonna…
 
Syaoran: Me too…
 
>Yamazaki walked off.

>

>Man:

>Hey,how much for these Playpen magazines??




Sakura: Oh, great. Now the fic is ripping off jokes from “The Drew Carrey Show”.
 
Kero: Good. We need something funny.
 
Syaoran: Just so long as Mimi doesn’t show up.
 
Tomoyo:<Mimi Tachikawa> Like, I resent that!!
 
Syaoran: Uh… Wrong Mimi.
 
>Syaoran grunted and walked off.Syaoran walked back to Sakura's into her lawn.Later that night 
>Sakura and Syaoran were talking again.




Kero: And so the fic has come full circle. Getting smaller and smaller until it finally disappears down the literary toilet.
 
Sakura: Ick!
 
>Syaoran:

>So who would you rather be,Paul B. Thomas or Elton John?




Syaoran:<Elton John> That’s SIR Elton John to you, buddy.
 
>Sakura:

>Hmmmm,probably Paul B. Thomas.




Kero: Reader B. Ware.
 
Sakura: Cute.
 
>Syaoran:

>But why?




Syaoran: Why?! Why?! Oh, whyyyyyyyyy?!!!


>Sakura:

>Well,I think it would be neat to write books,you share your imagination.




Sakura: Unless you’re totally boneheaded, like the person who wrote this.
 
>Syaoran:

>Well,you do the same with music.




Syaoran: Yeah. The Backstreet Boys, N’Sync, Savage Garden, 98 degrees, Hanson… Real imaginative types.
 
Kero: Hanson. The Jackson 5 resurrected from the dead as three white brats.
 
>Sakura:

>Yeah,but what is so good about being a song writer?




Kero: Well, you get to hang around with Britney Spears all day.
 
Sakura: Kero…
 
>Syaoran:

>Well,in books you half to put a final sentence.But in song,you can just fade off.




Syaoran: I don’t know about that. John Grisham has a tendency to fade off his last chapters.
 
>Sakura:

>Yeah that is true.




Tomoyo: As opposed to false.
 
>Syaoran:

>See,and there is nothing else can do that?Right.

>

>Sakura:

>Yeah,something else can just fade off.

>

>Syaoran:

>What?




Kero: Your consciousness while reading this fic. Along with your brain waves.
 
>Sakura:

>A film scence.




Sakura: Huh? A film what?
 
>Syaoran looked confused.
 
Tomoyo: He’s not alone.
 
>Then this scence just fades of in black.Then the scence is back but Syaoran is on his towel 
>reading and Sakura's window is closed.




Tomoyo:<Golden Eyed Dragon>See? I used the fade to black!! Ha, ha! I’m SO clever!!!
 
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Syaoran:

>Okay,we are getting to know eachother better.Which is good.But...what does she really feel 
>about me?

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Kero: Hopefully, nausea.
 
Syaoran: HEY!
 
>It is in the morning and Syaoran is sitting down on his towel in the yawn,Yamazaki comes over 
>to him with the electric tooth brush.




Tomoyo: Oh no!! Not that damned toothbrush!!
 
>Syaoran:

>Succeed yet?




Kero: God, I hope not.
 
>Yamazaki:

>Nah.Here,Syaoran.You can have your tooth brush back,it seems it wasn't as great as a vibrater.




Sakura: Arghhh!!!!! Very bad mental image!!!
 
Syaoran: I think my brain is starting to bleed.
 
>Syaoran pushed it back.

>

>Syaoran:

>No!You kept it I'm not going to touch it little known putting it in my mouth.




Kero: Uh… Shouldn’t that be “let alone put it in my mouth”?
 
Syaoran: Who cares… I’m gonna be sick…
 
>Yamazaki:

>But I washed it.




Syaoran:<Yamazaki>In alcohol!
 
Kero:<Syaoran> Good. Now set a match to it.
 
>Syaoran:

>No thanks,man.




Tomoyo: Very wise.
 
>Yamazaki sat down and looked at Mr.Henry's house.




Syaoran:<Yamazaki>Fuchsia and purple? Who painted that house?
 
>Yamazaki:

>So,what else have we found out about our mystery man?




Syaoran: Ben Stiller?
 
Kero: William H. Macy?
 
Sakura: Hank Azaria?
 
Tomoyo: Greg Kinnear?
 
>Syaoran:

>Nothing lately.I haven't seen him.

>

>Yamazaki:

>Maybe he killed himself.




Kero:<Yamazaki> There’s been a stench around here lately.
 
Tomoyo: Probably just the fanfic.
 
>Syaoran:

>No,I can see him walking around ih his window all the time.

>

>Yamazaki:

>Hmmm...who knows.




Kero: Who cares?
 
>Syaoran:

>Yeah.




Kero: That’s what I thought.


>Yamazaki:

>Listen,man.I got to go,I need to go and try to succeed.




Syaoran:<Yamazaki> I probably won’t, but there you go.
 
>Yamazaki got up and left.




Sakura: I envy him.
 
Tomoyo: Didn’t we say that already?
 
Sakura: It’s even truer now.
 
>Syaoran:

>Good luck.




Tomoyo: Good riddance.
 
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Syaoran:

>Okay,tomorrow,Sakura's father is coming home.No big deal.

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Sakura: Um… How did he know that?
 
Tomoyo: And what does that have to do with anything that just happened.
 
Syaoran: Nothing in this fic seems to be related to anything else in this fic.
 
>It is at night.
 
Kero: What is at night?
 
Syaoran:<dramatic>Night in the cold, bleak city… 
 
>Syaoran is standing up reading,then he hears music,he looks next door to see Miss.Jacksons 
>dancing around looking at Syaoran.
 
Sakura: The hell…?
 
Syaoran: I wasn’t watching where I was going and I’ve wandered into a Janet Jackson video! Arghh! 
 
>Syaoran gulped and watched.Then,Yamazaki ran over to him.




All: ACK!
 
Tomoyo: Where’d he come from?


>Yamazaki:

>Syaoran!I need help!




Kero: That’s putting it mildly.
 
>Syaoran turned around to look at Yamazaki.




Tomoyo: ARGGHHHHHHHH!!! Why do we have to read every single movement the characters make?!
 
>Syaoran:

>What's wrong?




Sakura: Plenty.
 
>Yamazaki:

>Promise you won't laugh?




Kero: We haven’t so far.
 
Syaoran: No matter how hard the author’s tried.
 
>Syaoran:

>Okay.

>

>Yamazaki unzipped his coat to reveal a bra on him.Syaoran started to giggle.




Kero: Ummmmm…
 
Syaoran: First a vibrator, now a bra. Maybe Takashi should just get a sex change.
 
>Yamazaki:

>Hey!You said you wouldn't laugh!




Tomoyo: We haven’t.
 
>Syaoran:

>Okay.But can I touch 'em!?




All: Eeeeeeeewwww…
 
Kero: Seriously BAD mental image!!!!
 
>Syaoran started joking around and put his hand up to the bra and Yamazaki smacked his hand off 
>madely.




Tomoyo: Madely?
 
Sakura: Why does no one ever spell-check their work?
 
>Yamazaki:

>Stop it,it isn't funny!My parents got home right after I put this on.So I ran out,and I can't get 
>this off.This bitch was hard to get on too! So,could you get it off me?




Syaoran: I am not even beginning to contemplate the double-entendres from that dialogue.
 
>Syaoran:

>Sure.




Kero:<Syaoran>I’ve had lots of practice with Sakura’s.
 
Sakura and Syaoran: KERO!
 
>Yamazaki turned around and Syaoran took the bra off.Syaoran looked at the bra.

>

>Syaoran:

>Yeah sure is a bitch.




Kero: This is a moment you’ll never see in a “Victoria’s Secrets” ad.
 
Syaoran: Thank God!
 
>Yamazaki:

>Hold that for a second.




Tomoyo: I hope he means the bra.
 
>Syaoran looked at the bra smirking.




Kero:<Syaoran>Hey there, bra baby!
 
>Yamazaki:

>And wipe that smirk off your face!




Syaoran: Sure thing, MOM!




>Syaoran looked serious.




Tomoyo: Syaoran Li IS Jack Webb!
 
Kero: <Syaoran a la Jack Webb> Just the facts, ma’am.
 
Sakura:<hums the “Dragnet” theme>
 
>Yamazaki:

>I am not the first guy to try this you know.
 
Kero:<Yamazaki> Just look at Ru Paul, for instance.
 
>I was trying to do that,since the book said it would spice up my sex life.




Sakura: It’s true. Some people are dumb enough to believe everything they read.
 
>Syaoran:

>Spice,yes.Lock you up to a bra,no.




Tomoyo: Uh… Very clever…
 
>Yamazaki:

>Well,thanks.Bye.

>
>Syaoran handed the bra to Yamazaki.Yamazaki ran off.




Syaoran: Okay. What was the point of ANY of that?
 
>Syaoran:

>Bye...




Tomoyo:<Madison Taylor> Whatever.
 
>Syaoran walked back and sat on the towel and kept reading.




Syaoran: Hopefully, it was something better than this.
 
>It was in the morning and showed lots of men in old robes like greeks at a table outside and in a 
>scence froze.




Kero: Great. We’re in one of those Xerox ads.
 
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Syaoran:

>Okay,Sakura's father Fujitaka is in there,each year they all freeze a scence using them selves in 
>a scence involving Jeasus




Sakura: A what? Involving who?
 
Syaoran: I think it’s a scene involving Jesus.
 
Kero:<Pope John Paul II> The church does not recognize this fanfic.
 
Tomoyo: Amen.
 
>This is a chance for Sakura to like me!I need to piss her father off,then she will like me.

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Tomoyo: Yeah. Nothing wins a girl’s love like the hatred of her father.
 
Kero: Well, we know Touya hates him. That’s close enough, I guess.
 
>The men sat at the table froze in scence,then one man scratched his nose.Fujitaka clicked the 
>clock.




Syaoran: Okay. What does this have to do with anything?
 
Tomoyo: And what’s a frickin’ clock doing in a biblical scene.
 
Kero:<dramatic> The Last Supper… Re-heated in the microwave.
 
>Fujitaka:

>You moved.And we just had two minute and thirty seconds left!




Sakura: Oh! They’re playing chess!
 
Kero:<Fujitaka> Queen’s Knight to E-5.
 
Syaoran:<Ron Weasley> Queen to F-3! Checkmate! Ha, ha, ha!
 
>Man:

>Well,I had an itch.
 
Syaoran: A Seven Year Itch!
 
Kero: All right!! Marilyn Monroe over the subway grate! Woo-hoo!
 
Sakura: Does that guy have a name?
 
Tomoyo: Who ‘da man, baby? Who ‘da man?
 
Syaoran: Stop that! 
 
>It is hard not moving for five minutes.And why do you always have to be Jeasus Fujitaka!?




Kero: Okaaaaaay… So Fujitaka is now an egomaniacal nut with a God complex.
 
Tomoyo: And the OOCness just keeps on comin’!
 
>Fujitaka:

>Well,Jeasus was a leader...and I am a leader of you guys.




Syaoran:<Fujitaka> You’re my twelve apostles!
 
Kero: I hope there’s a Judas in the lot.
 
>Tomoyo walked up to Sakura's and knocked on the door.Sakura came out and walked down with 
>Tomoyo.Then Fujitaka went infront of Sakura.




Tomoyo: What? No “Hello, Sakura-chan,” or “How are you?” or “Are you ready to go?”
 
>Fujitaka:

>And where are you going?




Sakura: Lingerie shopping. I have a hot date with Syaoran-kun.
 
Syaoran: Hooeeeeee?!
 
Kero: Where the hell did that come from?
 
Tomoyo: I just hope there isn’t any more.
 
>Sakura:

>Uhh..me and Tomoyo are going to a concert.




Tomoyo: Very convincing.
 
Kero:<Sakura> To an org… Er… Bible study!
 
>Fujitaka:

>Oh no,you aren't




Syaoran:<Fujitaka, singing> Because anything you can do, I can do better!


>Sakura:

>But dad!




Tomoyo:<Sakura a la Ranma>Get out of my way, pops!
 
>Syaoran looked over and stood up.




All: HUZZAH!
 
Syaoran: I’m standing up for a cause!
 
>~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Syaoran:

>This is it!Time to piss off pops!

>~~~~~~~~~~~~




Kero: Looks like Syaoran’s channeling Ranma too.
 
>Syaoran walked over to Fujitaka with a glass baby of Jeasus.




Tomoyo: How could Jesus have a baby? And a glass one at that?
 
Syaoran: Don’t know. Don’t want to.


>Syaoran:

>She is going,or else the baby Jeasus gets it!




All:<groans>
 
Kero: Great. We’re in a bad 40’s gangster film.
 
>Fujitaka gasped.




Syaoran:<Fujitaka>I just realized how crappy this fic is!


>Fujitaka:

>No!Don't hurt the baby Jeasus!




Tomoyo: Fathers who obsess over glass religious artifacts! On the next Springer!
 
>Syaoran:

>Then let her go!




All:<singing> LET HER GO!!!!
 
Kero:<Fujitaka, singing> No, I will not let her go!
 
All:<singing> LET HER GO!!!!
 
Kero:<Fujitaka, singing> No, I will not let her go!
 
All:<singing> LET HER GO!!!!
 
Kero:<Fujitaka, singing> No, I will not let her go!
 
Tomoyo: The Bohemian Rhapsody Sketch, ladies and gentlemen. Thank you.




>Sakura and Tomoyo started giggling.




Kero: Yeah. That was a pretty good gag we just did. 




>Fujitaka:

>Okay,but just give me the baby.




Syaoran: Fujitaka Kinomoto. Hostage Negotiator.




>Syaoran:

>I will after she goes and comes back.




Kero: Uh… What?
 
Sakura: What? Is he afraid that he’ll keep me from returning?




>Fujitaka started to get mad.




Tomoyo: I can identify.




>Fujitaka:

>Why you little...




Syaoran: The role of Fujitaka will now be played by Homer Simpson.
 
>Fujitaka ran after Syaoran.Syaoran ran off letting Fujitaka chase him.Tomoyo and Sakura ran out 
>the gate and ran off 




Syaoran:<Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch>So you ran to Syaoran, you ran to the gate, you ran to the concert… And during all
 this running, did you ever run for a doctor?
 
>giggling.All of the men with Fujitaka started chasing Syaoran.Fujitaka then grabbed Syaoran's 
>legs making him trip.Once Syaoran fell he threw the glass baby Jeasus.It then smashed on the 
>sidewalk.Fujitaka glared at Syaoran madely.




Tomoyo: Well, it’s his own fault. He grabbed Li-kun’s legs.




>Later that day,Syaoran was sitting on the sidewalk outside of Sakura's house.Sakura walked over 
>and sat down by him.




Sakura:<singing> As long as you sit… Sit by me! Sit by me!




>Sakura:

>Hey,thanks for doing that to let me and Tomoyo run off.




Kero: …and join the circus.
 
>Syaoran:

>Your welcome.




All:<groans>
 
Sakura: Wow! I’ve never owned a welcome before!
 
>Sakura kissed Syaoran on the cheek,got up,and went inside.Later that night Sakura was looking out 
>her window and talking to Syaoran.




Tomoyo: Uh… Why didn’t she just talk to him when she was sitting there?
 
Syaoran: And why would I still be camping on her lawn after what I did? Wouldn’t Kinomoto-san try to get rid of me?
 
>Sakura:

>So what was the baddest thing that ever happened to you?




Syaoran: Ending up in this fanfic.




Tomoyo: Shouldn’t that be “worst”?
 
Sakura: We know a lot about that word by now.
 
>Syaoran:

>Uhh..probably when my father died.I never really knew him.And..I think he never really loved me 
>either.What was your baddest thing?




Kero: I’m… I’m overcome with emotion from hearing that heartfelt speech.
 
Sakura: It was full of something, but it wasn’t heart.
 
>Sakura:

>Probably when I was five.It is when I jsut learned to count.I always counted things.And one day 
>me and my dad went shopping




Sakura: …and he expected me to calculate the taxes in my head! The bastard!
 
>and when the cah register gave us our money,I counted and noticed she gave us too much.And my dad 
>saw too.But...he just put the money in his bill fold and we walked out.And..that is when I 
>started believing that my father isn't that great.




Kero: Nice to know Fujitaka takes his religion so seriously, huh?
 
Sakura: Doesn’t practice what he preaches, I guess.
 
Tomoyo: This fic doesn’t care much about fathers, does it? 
 
>Syaoran:

>Oh...Well,I am going to just sit down and read.




Syaoran: That can be a very terrifying experience.
 
Tomoyo: We should know.
 
>Sakura:

>Okay,good night.




Kero: Bite me.
 
>Sakura shut her window and Syaoran sat down.

>
>In the morning Syaoran was reading and the Yamazaki walked over with a cast around his neck.




Syaoran: Um… I don’t mean to get technical, but shouldn’t that be a brace around his neck?




>Yamazaki:

>Hey.




Kero: …is for horses.




>Syaoran looked up at Yamazaki then his eyes went huge.




Kero: Like this: O_O
 
Sakura: How did you do that?
 
Kero: Through the magic of fanfiction.




>Syaoran:

>What happened?




Syaoran:<Yamazaki> Whiplash.
 
>Yamazaki:

>Well,like the book said.I tryed to blow myself.And hey,I thought girls would hate it but it 
>tastes like beef.It is kinda like going to the sizzler.




All: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
Sakura: VERY… BAD… MENTAL… IMAGE…!!!




Syaoran: Brain… bleeding… Vision… fading…
 
Tomoyo: Going… to…
 
<Kero flies under one the seats and sticks his head in a discarded popcorn bucket>
 
Kero: HURGHHHHHHHH!!!
 
Tomoyo: What he just did.
 
>Syaoran:

>You're sick.




Sakura: That’s the understatement of the year.
 
<Kero emerges from under the seat.>
 
Kero:<Mint from “Threads Of Fate”> Barfing is always so refreshing.




>Yamazaki sighed and sat down.




Tomoyo: If Syaoran has any brains, he’ll leave now.




>Yamazaki:

>Everyone is.




Tomoyo: Everyone is what?
 
>Syaoran:

>But not as sick and try to give yourself head.




Syaoran: True.
 
Sakura: Very true.
 
Tomoyo: Thank God.




>Yamazaki:

>It doesn't matter now,I am getting my prize,cause I succeeded!




Kero: I hope the prize is common sense, cause he sure needs it.
 
>Syaoran:

>Good job.




Sakura: Ick! Bad mental image is back!!
 
>Yamazaki:

>Thanks,the package should be here by now.




Syaoran: The package? What package?




>Syaoran looked over.




Kero: Over what?
 
Tomoyo: The author’s dead body?
 
Sakura: We can only hope.




>Syaoran:

>Yep,here is the mailman.




Kero:<Garfield>Heh, heh… Time to attack!
 
>Yamazaki stood up and took the package.




Sakura: Um… Why is Yamazaki’s package being delivered to my house?
 
Tomoyo: Convenience to the plot, I guess.
 
>Yamazaki:

>Alright!It's here!




Kero:<Yamazaki> My new secret decoder ring!
 
>Yamazaki started ripping the package opened.




Sakura:<Mother>Hey! I wanted to save that wrapping paper!
 
>Syaoran:

>What is??




Tomoyo: What is what?
 
Sakura: I give up.
 
>Yamazaki showed Syaoran a black cantainer with glass in the middle that showed a orange tube 
>inside and ontop there was the orange tube with a hole in it.




Kero: Uh…
 
Tomoyo: I don’t want to know.




>Yamazaki:

>The Orgazmatic 400!




<All fall over>




Kero: I should’ve guessed.
 
>Yamazaki pushed a button and the orange tuble started sucking in and out.




Syaoran: But it still didn’t suck as much as this fic.




>Yamazaki:

>Alright!!!




All: Oh nooooo!!!




>Syaoran started giggling.




Tomoyo: Not more giggling…
 
Kero: It’s got to be the tea again.




>Syaoran:

>Hey,I went over to Mr.Henry's.And I almost got caught.




Tomoyo: What? When did he do that?
 
Sakura: The most exciting thing in the fic so far an it happened off-screen.
 
>Yamazaki:

>Wow...




Kero: I hope he’s talking about Syaoran’s near miss with death…
 
>Syaoran:

>Yeah,and I didn't get to see anything.




Kero:<Syaoran>No naked wife. No dismembered body parts. What a rip-off!!




>Yamazaki:

>Well,I got to go.bye.




All: ARGHHHHHHHH!!!!
 
Kero: Converse. Depart. Repeat. Converse. Depart. Repeat… 




>Yamazaki ran off.




Syaoran: There goes one stupid young man.
 
Kero:<Yamazaki a la Arch Hall Jr.> Chiharuuuuuu! Chiharuuuuu!!




>Late on at night.Syaoran was lying on the ground.And then Miss.Jacksons walked over and went 
>ontop of Syaoran.




Sakura: The hell…?
 
Tomoyo: This is a twist.
 
Kero: Yeah. A twist of lemon.
 
Sakura: Kero…




>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>
>Syaoran:

>Okay,what in the hell happened here??
 
Syaoran: We were wondering the same thing.
 
>who knows.




Tomoyo: Not us.
 
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>
>Miss.Jacksons started kissing Syaoran.




All: Whoah!
 
Sakura: HEY!!
 
Kero:<Miss Jacksons>I feel like raping you. Can I rape you?
 
Syaoran: Don’t go there.
 
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>
>Syaoran:

>Okay,this may be good because if Sakura sees me she may be jealous

>
>*shows Sakura looking out her window mad*

>
>Sakura:

>Hey,he's my man!




Tomoyo: Um… Okay.
 
Sakura: My personality has just hit zero in this fic.
 
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>
>Syaoran started kissing Miss.Jacksons.




Kero: Whoah! 
 
Sakura: Oh, shut up!




>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Syaoran:

>But,what if she is someone who likes to watch???




<All stare blankly>
 
>*shows Sakura looking out the window with a bowl of popcorn and she eats some*




Kero: I knew it.
 
Sakura: KERO!




>Syaoran:

>Or she may be like a judge...and if she sees how good I am she will want me!




Tomoyo: Yeah… That’ll happen.
 
>*shows Sakura hold up a paper that has 10 on it*




Syaoran: Well, she got that right,
 
Kero: Yeah. In your dreams. 
 
>Syaoran:

>But what if she thinks I am a total pimp??




Syaoran: ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!!! My personality! My wonderful personality! Shattered yet again!
 
Kero: Them’s the breaks, kiddo.




>*shows Sakura hold up a paper with 3 on it*




Tomoyo: What is the number of seconds until I finally lose it with this fic, Alex?




>Syaoran:

>What am I doing?This is crazy!Sakura will hate me!




Tomoyo: Well, he’s right about the ‘crazy’ part.
 
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>
>Syaoran pushed Miss.Jacksons off.

>

>
>Syaoran:

>No,Miss.Jacksons.I can't.




Kero:<Syaoran> Not without my Viagra.
 
<Syaoran whacks him.>




>Miss.Jacksons:

>Why?

>
>Syaoran:

>Because,I love Sakura.I have been here waiting her to notice and love me for a whole week now.




Sakura: A week? Is that how long we’ve been here?
 
Syaoran: Feels like longer.




>Miss.Jacksons:

>I know..I know..I've seen you.I guess..I was jealous.But good luck.




Tomoyo: Ooookay… So Miss Jacksons was jealous of Sakura and decided to seduce Syaoran?
 
Sakura: Let’s not think about it.




>Miss.Jacksons got up and walked off.Syaoran laid down and closed his eyes.




Kero: Laid down? Where’d he get the down from?
 
Syaoran:<Touya>Hey! Who stole the stuffing from my pillow!




>In the morning Syaoran was leaning against the fence.And Yamazaki came up.




All:<groans>
 
Sakura: Not again.




>Yamazaki:

>Hey,man.I need some help here.My sex machine stopped working.I need help.




Kero: Yeah. Preferably from lithium and thorazine. 




>Syaoran looked at Yamazaki.




Syaoran: I hope he doesn’t mean what I think he means.
 
>Syaoran:

>No way man.I am not leaving.

>
>Yamazaki:

>Come on,buddy.I just need ya for three minutes.




<Long pause>
 
All: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
 
Sakura: MUCH, MUCH WORSE MENTAL IMAGE!!!!
 
<Syaoran passes out.>
 
Tomoyo: Li-kun!! Are you okay?
 
Syaoran:<muffled> No…
 
>Syaoran:

>No,I am not leaving.




Kero: Good!




>Yamazaki:

>What??!Oh,you are not leaving.Man,I never said anything to you,about you standing out here 
>waiting for her!!!!And now when I need you the most you be a jack ass about it!And won't help 
>me!!!!!No wonder Sakura doesn't love you!!!




<Long pause>
 
Tomoyo: Did that make sense to anyone?
 
Kero:<Yamazaki> Damn it! HELP ME!!! I NEED RELEASE NOW!!!
 
Sakura: Kero!
 
Syaoran: Ick! Ick! Ick!




>Syaoran looked at Yamazaki mad.




Kero: It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world…




>Syaoran:

>Shut up!!




Syaoran:<Yamazaki>No. You shut up!
 
Kero:<Syaoran> No. YOU!
 
Syaoran:<Yamazaki>No, you!




>Yamazaki:

>No,you are an ass wipe,and Sakura is never going to love you!!!




Kero: What the hell is wrong with him?! 
 
Tomoyo:<Sakura> I can never love a man who doesn’t help his friends when their sex toys break.
 
Syaoran and Sakura: Eeeeeeewwwwww…




>Syaoran took Yamazaki by the neck.




All: YES!!! STRANGLE HIM!!!
 
>Syaoran:

>Take that back!!!




Kero: Very mature.




>Yamazaki:

>HEY!HEY!Watch the neck!!!




All: SNAP!
 
Syaoran: Oh, well…




>Syaoran let go.Then Yamazaki punched Syaoran in the stomach.Syaoran was in pain and bent over 
>holding his stomach.




Syaoran: Then Syaoran drew his sword and chopped off Yamazaki’s head. The End.




Kero:<Nearly Headless Nick> Lucky bastard.
 
Sakura: Could we stop with the Harry Potter references soon?
 
>Yamazaki:

>And you're stupid!




Kero: Said the pot to the kettle.
 
Syaoran: Just keep that pot from the author. She’s had enough.




>Yamazaki walked off.

>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>
>Syaoran:

>Maybe Yamazaki was right.Maybe I am stupid....But I guess that is life for me..

>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




Kero: Trust us. You are stupid. But Yamazaki is far worse off.




>At night Syaoran was talking to Sakura once again.But Eriol walked up.




Syaoran: Oh, goody. Just when it couldn’t get worse…




>Syaoran:

>So,I think Mr.Henry killed his wife.




Syaoran: …it does.




>Sakura:

>Are you sure?




Kero:<Syaoran>As sure as I can be with absolutely no evidence.




>Syaoran:

>Are pretty sure.




Tomoyo: Was that a “yes” or a “no”?
 

>Eriol:

>Ah,that is horse shit.

Sakura: Hey! Eriol’s commenting on the fic!

>Syaoran looked at Eriol.

Syaoran: Bite me, four-eyes!

>Syaoran:

>Well,why don't you go over there and look for yourself.

Syaoran: If you’re not back in an hour, we’ll cash in your life insurance.

Kero:<Eriol>Nah. I think I’ll just send Suppi.

>Eriol:

>No way,why don't you.

Syaoran:<Alex Trebek> That’s it! I give up!

>Syaoran:

>No!I almost got caught last night.

>

>Sakura:

>I dare you both to!

Syaoran: Can’t I just go with truth?

>Eriol and Syaoran looked at Sakura confused.

Kero: Easily stumped, aren’t they?

>Sakura:

>Okay,let's all go.

Tomoyo: Go where?

Sakura: Uh… Mr. Henry’s house… I think.

Kero: Yes. Breaking and entering! The new fad among teens!

>Syaoran,Eriol,and Sakura walked across the road.And went over to Mr,Herny's house.Sakura went >over to the door.

>

>Syaoran:

>No,don't open it.

Kero:<Syaoran>Kick it in! It’s more dramatic!

>Sakura:

>It's locked.

Kero: Not unlike my jaw.

Sakura: Well, Mr. Henry is at least smarter that Hikaru Shidou was in “Stolen”.

>Just then Mr.Henry walked up and Eriol ran.

All: ACK!!

Syaoran: Where’d he come from?!

>Mr.Henry:

>What are you doing here!?!?

Sakura: Whoa! Calm down there, buddy!

>Sakura and Syaoran were scared and backed up.

Syaoran: …their hard drives.

Kero: Do they make a beeping sound when they do that?

>Mr.Henry:

>Want to see what is inside!!?..Well come on!!

Tomoyo: Man… Mr. Henry needs some serious therapy.

Kero:<Mr. Henry>TEA!!! I NEED MORE TEA!!!

>Syaoran and Sakura tried to run but Mr.Henry grabbed them and pushed them in the door,just then >they fell in a pool.A pool was right in the middle of the house.Syaoran swam out and wrapped a >towel around eachother.

Sakura: He built a pool right in front of the doorway?

Kero: Yeah. It helps drown annoying houseguests.

>Syaoran:

>You built a pool in your house!?

Syaoran:<Mr. Henry> Actually, that’s my basement. We’ve been having some plumbing problems.

>Mr.Henry:

>Nope,but paradise!

Tomoyo: Megami Paradise!

Sakura:<Rurubell> Somehow, I don’t think so.

>There was plants and everything,Mr.Henry walked over to his wife in a wheelchair.

Kero: He walked in a wheelchair? That’s quite a trick.

>Mr.Henry:

>Me and my wife,wanted to go back to Hawaii for our second honey moon.But we couldn't.So I wanted >to build a pool out back.But I couldn't the mayor wouldn't let me.So I built one right here.

Syaoran: What? The mayor wouldn’t let them get a pool?

Kero: Does Tomoeda even have a mayor?

>Mrs.Henry:

>It's so lovely.

Tomoyo: What is? The pool? Hasn’t she already seen it?

>Mr.Henry:

>You won't tell anyone will ya?

>

>Syaoran:

>....No,for splendid our hearts is grace.

<Long pause>

Kero: The hell…?

Syaoran: I’m a poet and I don’t know it!

>Sakura looked confused with the words that Syaoran just said.

Tomoyo: She’s not alone.

>She never thought he would say that.She looked up at him smiling.

>

>It was in the morning and Syaoran was sitting on the sidewalk,Then Yamazaki walked up to him.

All: ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Kero: The fic is going BACKWARDS!!!!

>Yamazaki:

>....hey.

Syaoran: Even Mike Rhea isn’t this repetitive.

Kero:<Yamazaki> Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey…

>Syaoran looked at Yamazaki,stood up and faced him.

>

>Syaoran:

>Hey.

Syaoran: Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey… Hey…

Tomoyo: And the fic just keep on droning!

>Yamazaki:

>Hey,I am leaving tomorrow.

All: YAAAAAAYYYYYYYY!!!! BON VOYAGE, YAMAZAKI!!!

Sakura:<Lucy Van Pelt> And don’t come back!!!

>Syaoran:

>What?Where?

Kero:<Yamazaki> Hell…

>Yamazaki:

>You probably,won't believe this.But,College.

Syaoran:<Keitaro Urashima> Hey! How’d he pass the entrance exams?

Kero:<Yamazaki> I copied off the girl sitting next to me!

Sakura:<Hermione Granger> That’s cheating!!

Tomoyo: Two crossovers for one joke… And colleges don’t have the entrance exams usually.

Syaoran: Yeah. Tokyo U wouldn’t even think of letting this dope in.

Kero: Yamazaki Takashi. Will the goddess of fate smile down upon him? We hope not.

>Syaoran:

>Congrats.

>

>Yamazaki:

>Yeah,and I'm going to this party for goodbyes,you wanna go?

Syaoran: Not for all the tea in China.

>Syaoran:

>What about Sakura?

>

>Yamazaki looked at the ground and started walking off.

>

>Yamazaki:

>Oh,yeah.Sakura...

Kero: COULD THE AUTHOR PLEASE MAKE SOMETHING OF CONSEQUENCE HAPPEN?!

Sakura: A fight, a romantic moment, first impact, ANYTHING!

>Syaoran looked around then at Yamazaki.

All:<groans>

Tomoyo: Guess not.

>Syaoran:

>Screw Sakura...

Kero: Yes! That’s what we’re looking for!!!

Sakura: Kero!

>Yamazaki:

>What?

All: HE SAID “SCREW SAKURA”!

Kero:<Yamazaki> Don’t mind if I do!

<Sakura and Syaoran swat him.>

Kero: Owie!

>Syaoran:

>I said,"Screw Sakura." If she doesn't love me then fine.No other man would never do what I have >done.I gave up a night with Miss.Jacksons just to be with her.And if she doesn't want my >love,then fine.

Tomoyo: Yeah. You were trespassing on her lawn for a week. Real effort there.

>Yamazaki:

>Alright!

All: Shut up!

>Syaoran:

>Let's go!

Syaoran: Let’s not and say we did, hm?

>Yamazaki and Syaoran walked off.Right when they were gone Sakura looked out her window.

Sakura: Wow! What great timing!

>Sakura:

>Syaoran!I need to talk to you!

Tomoyo:<Sakura a la Alexander Graham Bell> Come here, Syaoran. I need you.

>Sakura looked around and saw that Syaoran wasn't on her lawn for once.

Kero:<Sakura>Whew! I thought he’d never leave!

>Sakura:

>Syaoran??...

Syaoran: Sakura??…

Tomoyo: Hikaru??…

Kero: Mrs. Robinson??…

Sakura: Mrs. Bates??…

Syaoran: Chief??…

Kero: McCloud??…

>Sakura shut her window.

Tomoyo:<Sakura> OW! My fingers!

>It was at night and Syaoran and Yamazaki were walking around.

Kero:<singing> They’re walking! Yes, indeed!

>Yamazaki:

>Yeah,but Meiling gave you a key to your apartment room at the party.

Sakura: Yes. Another potentially interesting scene has been replace by this.

>Syaoran:

>Yeah which was pretty good.

Kero:<Syaoran> No more squatting outside the Kinomoto house! Woo-hoo!

>Chelsea was sitting outside her door.

All: AH-HA!!!

Tomoyo: the author shows her true colors!!

Sakura: I don’t know. Every “CardCaptors” fic we’ve read so far was better than this.

>Chelsea:

>Hi,guys.

>

>Syaoran&Yamazaki:

>Hi Chelsea.

Syaoran:<Seinfeld> Hello… Newman.

>Chelsea:

>Any of you boys want to come in for some hot coacoa?

Tomoyo: Some hot what?

Kero:<Chelsea> Coacoa! It’s an ancient word meaning hot lovin’, baby!

Sakura: KERO!

>Syaoran:

>No thanks.

>

>Yamazaki's eyebrows went up and down.

Syaoran:<Yamazaki> ARGHHHHH!!!! MY EYEBROWS ARE POSSESSED!!!!

>Yamazaki:

>Sure.

Kero:<Yamazaki> Make way for Yamazaki Moroboshi, baby!!

Sakura: Kero…

>Yamazaki went in with Chelsea.Syaoran walked off.Then he saw Miss.Terri with sparklers running >around.She then gave one to Syaoran.

Tomoyo: Well, we just traded one random scene for another random scene.

>Miss.Terri:

>Here try it.

Kero:<Syaoran> OW! It burned my tongue!!

Tomoyo:<Miss Terri> You weren’t supposed to eat it, stupid!

>Syaoran:

>But it is silly.

Syaoran: Hey! I’m talking about the plot!

>Miss.Terri:

>Come on.It makes you feel like a kid again!

Sakura: Please… Let’s not make this fic anymore juvenile than it is now.

>Syaoran started running around with the Sparkler.Then he sat down and it went out.Miss.Terri sat >down by him.

Tomoyo: INTENSE SITTING ACTION!!!

>Syaoran:

>Did you know that many people think you are crazy?

Sakura:<Miss Terri> Yep. That’s why I opened a chain of electronics stores.

>Miss.Terri:

>So?

>

>Syaoran:

>Well,you do some wacky things.

Tomoyo:<Miss Terri> Well, I’m not as crazy as Yamazaki.

Kero: That’s true.

Syaoran: Hannibal Lecter isn’t a nuts as him.

>Miss.Terri:

>Not to me.

>

>Syaoran:

>Well,why do you always eat out in your car?

>

>Miss.Terri:

>To listen to music.It gets good operas in my car.

Sakura: Uh… Ever think of getting a radio for your house?

>Syaoran:

>But what about you watering flowers with a scuba mask on?

>

>Miss.Terri:

>I love my garden.But I am allergic to pollun.

Kero: You know, they make medication for that.

Tomoyo: That’s for allergies to pollen. Not “pollun”, whatever that is.

>Syaoran:

>But what about you chopping grass at night?

>

>Miss.Terri:

>It doesn't grow that fast in the dark.

Kero: Yeah. Grass just shoots up so many feet during the day.

>Syaoran:

>But you always talk on the phone ontop of your roof.

>

>Miss.Terri:

>Well,my friend is a little wierd.She likes to visit.But she usual takes a wrong turn and gets >lost.So when I sit on my roof I can see her back out from her driveway.And if she makes a wrong >turn I can giver her directions.

Tomoyo: Has your friend ever heard of a “Map”?

>Syaoran:

>Wow.It all makes sense now.

All: Gasp! How convenient!

>Miss.Terri:

>Everything does.

Syaoran: In this fic? Yeah, right!

>Syaoran:

>Well,by Miss.Terri.

Kero: Hey! Miss Terri wrote a book! And it’s called “Well”!

Sakura: I hope that’s nothing like “Stolen”.

>Miss.Terri:

>Bye.

>

>Syaoran walked off to Sakura's house.Sakura was siting on her steps.Syaoran looked at her.

>

>Syaoran:

>Sakura!

Sakura: Syaoran!

Tomoyo: Hikaru!

Kero: Mrs. Robinson!

Sakura: Mrs. Bates!

Syaoran: Chief!

Kero: McCloud!

>Sakura looked up at Syaoran.She walked up to him.

>

>Sakura:

>I missed you.

Kero: Oh, come on! He was gone for a few hours!!

>Syaoran leaned towards her into a kiss,they let their tounges massage eachothers.

>

>It was in Sakura's bedroom,They had the cover over them.The had no clothes on.Sakura was >asleep,and Syaoran was awake looking around.

Tomoyo: Well, this has to be the most boring innuendo ever.

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

>Syaoran:

>So that is my story.

Kero: Over at last!

All: YAYYYYYY!!

>Just like my grandpa used to say,love is the most important thing in everybody's life.

Syaoran: What? I don’t remember him saying that.

>Playing the violin,mowing the grass,and playing basketball are all just a waste of time.Until you >make love again.I guess I understand That now....

Kero: Sex is the staff of life!

Sakura: Kero…

Tomoyo: Playing the violin? Did Asuka teach him that?

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Syaoran: And with a final wave, we say “Good-bye”.

All: AND GOOD RIDDANCE!!

Kero: I’ll say.

Sakura: Yeah. Everyone was so OOC. Change the names and you could make this fic about any series.

Tomoyo: Plus, nothing at all happened!! Okay, Sakura and Syaoran got together, but most of the fic was meaningless scenes that had nothing to do with the theme or purpose of the story.

Syaoran: Yeah. The whole Mr. Henry thing was set up for one moment when I recite a dramatic line, seemingly out of nowhere, to impress Sakura. And the incident with Kinomoto-san happens and then he just let’s me stay on his lawn.

Kero: And as for the scenes involving Yamazaki and his, uh.. “toys”…

All: EEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!!

Sakura: Come on. Let’s get out of here.

**

Sakura, Syaoran, Tomoyo and Kero slogged unhappily out of the theater.

“I sure hope we never have to do that again…” Kero grumbled.

“I think we should have a few words with Dr. H about that fanfic,” Tomoyo suggested.

“So he can send us more of the same?!” Syaoran replied. “Have you gone mad, Daidouji?!”

Sakura sighed. “I’m afraid Syaoran-kun is right. We can’t let Dr. H think these stupid experiments are actually working on us.”

“I wonder what that lunatic is doing right now,” Syaoran muttered.

**

DEEP 13

Eriol was sitting in his large chair reading the Harry Potter books, his eye occasionally twitching. “I still don’t see what’s so great about him…” he muttered.

“You’re obsessing again,” chided Ruby Moon.

“Oh, shut up and push the button!” Eriol snapped.

Ruby Moon grabbed ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire’ off of Eriol’s arm rest and slammed him over the head with it before striding over to the control panel and pressing the button.

THE REAL END OF SEASON TWO

(Feel free to hum “Catch You, Catch Me” as the credits roll.)

Well, another season of CCST3K comes to an end. I’m sorry about the huge delay on this edition. I was away from my computer during the holidays and, well, this was a really long MSTing. It’s the longest yet I believe. Season three will begin soon enough, opening with a Harry Potter fic.

Scary, isn’t it?

-CardCaptor Schlueter (aka Syaoran-kun)

Season One:

1) The Brain From Planet Arous-A Ranma ½ Fic By Ryoucilo

2) The Mike Rhea Anthology-Ranma ½ Fics By Mike Rhea

(Loves Me, Loves Me Not/ Akane Gets Drained/ Konatsu’s First Kiss)

3) Neon Ranma Evangelion-A Ranma ½ /Evangelion Crossover By Khyron Kingkiller

4) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy

5) Stolen-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou

6) Good Bye Sweet Li (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Lady Yuy

7) The True Power Of Love-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By poshul

8) Marco Polo-A Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By hikaru shidou

9) Madison’s Mystery Crush-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Chocolat*

10) Is It Reality Or Just A Trick?-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker

Season Two:

11) The Next Generation-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By JimAndZazu

12) Caught In The Act-A Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Second Sailor Destiny

13) The Shadow Leaders-A Sailor Moon Fic By Dr. Thinker

14) Shinji’s Alter-Ego-A Neon Genesis Evangelion Fic By John82

15) Sailor Jupiter Vs. Godzilla-A Sailor Moon Fic By Flashman (Christian A. Rogers)

16) Temples, Captors And Knights (Part 1)-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy

17) No Need For CardCaptors-A Tenchi Muyo/Card Captor Sakura (CardCaptors) Fic By Christina Horton

18) Temples, Captors And Knights (Part 2)-A Card Captor Sakura/Magic Knight Rayearth Fic By Syaoran’s Lovertoy

19) Mother, May I [Take Over The World]-A Pokemon Fic By Mallet Boy

20) Syaoran: Romeo… Not Really-A Card Captor Sakura Fic By Golden Eyed Dragon

Deep Fried SPAM:

1) Why Not Make A Little Money While Surfing The Net

>Syaoran:
>She is going,or else the baby Jeasus gets it!

Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its related characters and situations
are trademarks of and (c) 2001 by Best Brains, Inc. All rights
reserved.

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